Two Worlds Collide

So I grew up in a small town. Now, that doesn’t have a whole lot to do with what I am going to write about except to say that in smaller rural communities, diversity is fairly uncommon. I love where I grew up; it formed me, shaped me and continues to give me profound perspective. But the truth is, in comparison to Chicago, even Peoria, IL the area is fairly similar in mindset…

Getting off track for a moment…
It would be unfair to discount all diversity. I am beginning to see how even in small communities diversity exists. Often times people like me underplay this diversity because in comparison to the difference between African American, Chinese, Korean, Native American and White culture, for example, the diversity seems less significant.

At the heart of diversity however I’m not so sure anymore that it is. Where I grew up, there were (to narrow it down and speak of it quickly), in my high school a few subgroups: Jocks, Stoners, Intellectuals, Artists, ‘Dirties’ (or the less fortunate and socially awkward), etc. The dominant group or ideal was for the most part the ‘Jock’ group. This group was the most ‘White’ and ‘normal’ and socially acceptable. Within these diversities, there was tension, shame, ridicule, etc. So even in this context there was diversity.

Attempting to get back on track….
Still, in comparison to Chicago and a more urban setting, the diversity of my upbringing was minimal; not less significant, but less obvious. You couldn’t see it (for the most part) by looking at a face, color, and ethnicity.

But in ideas and beliefs and behaviors the diversity was abundantly present. Now, one way of dealing with difference is to give it a title and a definition.

Disclaimer…
Please understand that what I am going to write about here, the subject matter, is not intended to stir up emotion or reaction or debate, etc. When it does stir up emotion and reaction in you, as it does me, let it be a peace collision. Peace collisions are not necessarily bad. In fact, at another time, I will explore their significance.*

Title and definition…
Similar to peace collisions, titles and definitions are not necessarily bad. They can be bad and too often are, in that people use them as power grabs (me especially). When they are used as power grabs they often become the source of personal and social manipulation.

Here we go… read the disclaimer again if you need to: Homosexuality
In the church, there has been a stance on this issue. The stance has been in place for a long time. Probably since 60-90 a.d., there has been a stance. Predominantly the stance began and ended with the thought that a person practicing such a behavior could not be in leadership within the church. The church considered this behavior to be sinful. For the most part, though, particularly in Jesus’ time this was a far as it needed to go. After that, a person thought to be in the act was (in history) treated as any ‘nonbeliever’ would have been treated; with love. Now… obviously the church has in some cases heightened this stance and in some cases weakened this stance. And as result, in the last forty or so years, since the sexual revolution this issue has become a major source of debate, hostility, etc. within the church.

Where I grew up, in the religious environment that I grew up in there was a strong stance. My ‘normalcy’ heightened the churches original stance and made homosexuality to be a prominent issue within the life of the church.

This of course happened because of …peace collision. One understanding and thought (which made group A happy) collided with another understanding and thought (which made group B happy).

So from an early age, I understood (see disclaimer) homosexuality to be a grave sin. I believed having this stance was as important to Christianity as the death and resurrection of Jesus himself.

When two worlds smacked into each other (HARD)
In the fifth grade, my brother, mother and I went on a family vacation to Arizona. My mother’s high school music teacher, Dorma lived there and they were, until Dorma’s death (a peace collision for my mother) very close friends.

This trip was special for my brother and I because my father, who lived in Colorado was coming to meet us. After we arrived in Arizona, we probably did something like go to our hotel and then… we went and meet dad. Dad had his roommate with him. I don’t remember his name; he was a nice guy though. So, we met dad and his roommate, had a meal or something, hung out, etc and then went back to mom.

At some point that evening, my brother said to me, “Nate, I think dad’s roommate is gay.” He was, he definitely was. We agreed on this and as far as I knew, dad, like no one I had previously met… knew a gay man.

Mom’s music teacher had a grandson. On this trip we became friends and he said to me one evening, “I just want to tell you, because I think it is bogus that no one is going to that your DAD IS GAY.” PEACE COLLISION.

Everything I had previously known exploded in my face. “What the hell is going on? Is anything true? Who am I? Who is mom? Who is Dad? Who is… God?”

I am now able to see how I have, and in some ways still do, live in reaction to this moment. This one moment. One moment that changed my whole perspective. For along time I tucked the reality that had confronted me away and would pull it out occasionally for a nice cry or something of the sort. Instead, I see now, I would seek out things like pot and cocaine and liquor. Its almost as if I didn’t want to deal with how my peace had been shaken.

Closing Remarks
Take from this what you will. It is my experience and when compared to others it is very minimal and insignificant.

The reality that I really want to express is this…. EVERYONE HAS PEACE COLLISIONS. I would like to explore this later on as well.* Everyone has stuff, shit, crap, whatever you need to call it, everyone has it. Some people do not even know that its there. I am close to twenty years out and am just now realizing that this one moment, when my peace was kicked around, has shaped who I am and how I behave and how I think. I am just now feeling free from it.

This freedom is coming because I am talking about my stuff, my collisions. We didn’t do a lot of that where I grew up. It wasn’t the norm. We didn’t even know that we should. We were afraid.

I really feel a strong desire to take it easier on people. People are dealing with some stuff. And the church, which I love and believe in, is scared of stuff. History shows this. Scripture shows this. You and I show this. This is why group A fights with group B and why B fights with A. They are scared. Scared of each other, scared of being wrong, scared of being right… scared.

I am scared. I am scared because I know that there is truth. I believe it to be in the living word of Jesus. But this living word, for some reason has not seen it fit to deny us peace collisions and stuff, etc. I really think the worst thing we can do is to say, “Truth at all cost”. I believe this because “truth at all cost” leads to war and violence and hate. It doesn’t really seek truth, it seeks comfort but most of the time that comfort isn’t even comfortable, it is angry and agenda driven. It seeks to make things black and white in a world where people have STUFF.

Lets take it easier on each other. Don’t deny truth. But don’t deny people the opportunity to work though stuff either. (see disclaimer)